We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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