just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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