i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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