I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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