Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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