This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
