I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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