Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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