Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
