Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
