so that wasnt chicken after all
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
