I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
