Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
