I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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