I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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