Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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