One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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