You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
