CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
