we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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