ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
