When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
