Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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