One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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