Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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