He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
