if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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