Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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