I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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