I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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