oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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