you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
