I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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