he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
