I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize