Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
