what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Even my vagina gasped.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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