I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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