meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize