You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
