I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
