Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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