I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
