If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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