Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
