whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
