Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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