Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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