dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
