brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
