Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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