At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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