Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
