I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
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its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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