I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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