people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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