Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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