Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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