Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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