be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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