for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Be still, my beating vagina.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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