dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize