Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize