It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
