Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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